New Beginnings
by Allisana
Summary: It's New Year's eve and Koenma is too busy to come with Botan to the celebration. She goes alone, all the while hoping that maybe, maybe Koenma will make it after all.


Disclaimers: The usual. YYH doesn't belong to me, this is a non-profit work made for fun, not money.   
  
Notes: one-shot, holiday fic, Koenma/Botan   
  
Teaser: It's New Year's eve and Koenma is too busy to come with Botan to the celebration. She goes alone, all the while hoping that maybe, maybe Koenma will make it after all.   
  
  
  


_A New Year's Fic_   
  
**New Beginnings**  
by Allisana   
alli @ renb.net   
http://renb.net/alli/kb 

  
  
Botan carefully peered into the strangely quiet office.   
  
Koenma was, as usual, at his huge mahogany desk, but he was not stamping documents. Dozens of books were heaped around the room and one particularly large book with small print sat open in front of him. His elbows were propped on it, head resting on his hands while he blearily stared down at the page.   
  
Botan sighed, half at his appearance and half in disappointment. Then she resolutely entered the office, intent on at least attempting to put Koenma to bed.   
  
This was worse than his usual exhaustion but she didn't even think of scolding him for working too hard, as she normally would have. This time he _had_ to exert himself. In a few days he would be tested on his apprenticeship and if he passed, he would finally become a full-fledged prince. Not much would change in his current responsibilities but it meant a lot to him because he would at last become an equal to his father. No longer would he have to bow down to Enma as a child. He would be considered and treated as an adult.   
  
Watching his unmoving child form, Botan mused that another benefit would be his symbolic and permanent shift to his adult form.   
  
Calling cheerfully to him in greeting, she bowed. "Good evening, Lord Koenma!"   
  
Koenma didn't acknowledge her. In fact, he didn't even seem to notice she was there.   
  
Slightly peeved, but understanding his state of mind, Botan decided that talking to him about getting some sleep would be futile and that action would be wiser. Coming closer, she could hear his monotonous murmurs as he struggled to memorize the _Twenty Very Important Methods of Bossing People Around_. Botan smirked. She thought Koenma would have mastered that by then with all the practice he'd had.   
  
His pacifier was barely hanging off his lip when she poked him hard on the back of his head in a move to get his attention. Unfortunately she'd put a bit too much energy into it. He smashed face-first into his book, his hat flying.   
  
"I-I'm sorry, Lord Koenma!" Botan apologized at once, scurrying to retrieve his hat and place it upon his head once more. Uncharacteristically, he did not blow up at her. Instead he groggily looked up and perceived her for the first time with dazed eyes.   
  
"Botan?"   
  
Even his voice was lifeless.   
  
On impulse, Botan leaned forward and lifted his small body from the chair and into her arms. In his state, she thought he wouldn't have the energy to fend her off. And she was partly right. For a few moments, he was as still as a doll while she carried him to the door. Then he seemed to wake enough to realize what was happening.   
  
"Wha... what are you doing?" came his sleepy question.   
  
She smiled brightly at him. "Ne, Lord Koenma, you look tired."   
  
Koenma opened his mouth to deny the observation but instead it stretched out into a yawn. Botan took the opportunity to open the door and make her way into the unnaturally empty hall.   
  
"Why aren't the onis working?" she wondered.   
  
Koenma's reply was muffled. "Sent them away. Too noisy. Couldn't study." Suddenly, he lifted his head. "Why are you dressed in ningen clothes?"   
  
"Yusuke and Keiko are having a party tonight, don't you remember?" Of course, Botan hadn't expected him to remember. "But you don't have to go."   
  
"No party... Need to stu-"   
  
"Sleep. You need to sleep, Lord Koenma."   
  
He squirmed uselessly, his child frame no match against her grown one. "No."   
  
"Yes. You can't study if you can barely stay awake to do it. Now don't fight, I'm carrying you to bed whether you like it or not."   
  
Koenma stopped struggling. Botan thought he had acceded but was surprised when he transformed without warning into his adult form. Unable to hold the sudden weight, she fell backwards with a shriek, Koenma on top of her.   
  
After the echoes and the initial shock had faded, Botan desperately tried to extract herself but found that Koenma was too heavy to heave away. He, in the meanwhile, was making no effort to move. It seemed he had fallen asleep from the strain it had taken to transform. It was no wonder. He had little energy left to begin with.   
  
All for stubbornness. "Baka..."   
  
Botan looked resignedly at the ceiling, breathing hard from her efforts. Here she was, dressed for the party, lying on the cold Reikai tiles with her boss sleeping on top of her. Not that she minded his warmth. In fact, his body seemed more warm than heavy, now that she thought about it. His cloak was soft, billowing out like a blanket around them.   
  
Stillness.   
  
A blush began to creep to Botan's face. This was the only time she'd been this close to Koenma. Never - she'd never dared before. There were the friendly touches (or smacks, as the situation called for) but nothing quite so... intimate.   
  
She touched his hair hesitantly. She had always wondered about it, what it'd be like to actually luxuriate in the feel of it. Her fingers raked through his longish mass of earthy strands easily. It was softer than even hers.   
  
Maybe it would be all right if she just let him sleep. After all, he did need it.   
  
"Botan..."   
  
She froze.   
  
"I just... I just wanted to tell you..." Koenma sounded half-awake and dreaming but Botan waited for his next words with an intensity she'd never known before.   
  
"...thank you. For looking after me. For being my friend."   
  
"Oh." She didn't know what else she had been expecting but it hadn't been that. "I mean, it's only natural, Lord Koenma."   
  
"Of course, it's me we're talking about. Everyone oughta worship me." A flash of his old ego. Koenma tiredly lifted himself up, just enough so he could see her face. "But really, I don't know what it would be like if I had to do all this alone. You and George... and everyone... It seemed like I was so far from this stage and now it's only a matter of days."   
  
He smiled thoughtfully at her, gorgeous golden brown not quite seeing her.   
  
Botan absorbed what he said and then sincerely beamed back at him. "Just a few more days. Study hard, Lord Koenma. You might want to start by getting off me."   
  
He looked startled, then sheepishly got up and helped her to her feet. "I'm sorry."   
  
"Go." Botan pushed him in the direction of his office and he went, moving like a living zombie. When the door closed, her oar materialized in her hand and she flew off, alone.   
  
  
  
The party was already in full swing by the time she arrived at Keiko's house. Some people were already letting off fireworks in the distance. New Year's eve, Botan recalled. The time when ningens welcomed the New Year.   
  
"Oi, Botan!" Yusuke greeted her, drinks in hand. He gave her one and then flicked away a stray black strand from his face. "Where's Koenma?"   
  
"Do you have to ask?" Kuwabara answered before Botan could reply. He was sitting on the ground, party hat on his head, fiddling with some long sticks. "He's probably working, as usual. That baby never stops."   
  
"Working? On New Year's?" Yusuke sounded incredulous.   
  
Botan had taken a sip of the drink and made a face at the taste. "We don't have the same holidays in Reikai. New Year's is a ningen tradition."   
  
"I don't think Reikai has any holidays at all!" Yusuke took a determined swig of his drink before he grabbed Kuwabara and began to drag him off. "Come on, we have to go and bring that brat down here. He's gotta have a break some time."   
  
Kuwabara protested. "We'll miss the countdown if we do. I was going to show Yukina some of these sparklers I bought."   
  
Botan likewise stopped Yusuke. "I'm sure Lord Koenma will appreciate your concern, but what he's doing now is very important."   
  
Yusuke shrugged. "I'd think this was too."   
  
Keiko called him from the kitchen to serve more drinks before the countdown started. He went obligingly, while Kuwabara followed to help Yukina with the dishes. As Botan looked in on them, the two girls smiled and paused for a moment to give her a hug.   
  
Keiko looked very orderly with her long brown hair done up in a chic bun. "Now Botan," she said, firmly placing a party hat on her head. "You have to wear this. A party isn't a party without party hats."   
  
"Who said that?" Yusuke, whose bare head was suddenly noticeable, asked.   
  
Keiko whirled on him and deftly attached another hat to his head. "I did. So wear it."   
  
"But I'll look cheesy."   
  
"You don't look any different to me. Now take this,"   
  
As Yusuke grumbled, Yukina commented on Botan's dress. It was simple, almost casual in style, but it was comfortable. "That's such a nice color, Botan. The dark blue makes your hair look so pretty."   
  
Her light-blue hair was in its usual ponytail, but held with a decorative pin in the shape of a peony.   
  
Botan thanked her, noting that Yukina seemed to be wearing a new kimono.   
  
"Kazuma gave it to me for Christmas." Yukina replied, while Kuwabara blushed proudly to one side.   
  
"I didn't know you had fashion sense, Kuwabara." Botan winked at him.   
  
He blushed deeper. "Naturally! Only the best for my beloved Yukina."   
  
His ardent expressions of love was always heart-warming. Botan wondered if all people were meant to have someone love them as much as Kuwabara loved Yukina. Even the rocky banter between Keiko and Yusuke, there was love that could be read in between the lines.   
  
She left them to do some last minute tasks before the much-awaited event. Following Yusuke, she found the rest of the party gathered around the TV in the living room. Its volume was turned to a level that made Botan wince but Yusuke only yell louder as he passed drinks around.   
  
The room was crowded with strangers, most likely acquaintances of Keiko, Yusuke and Kuwabara. Kurama waved at her in greeting and indicated Hiei slouched alone in one corner with an empty glass in his hand. Botan would have thought he looked sick if he hadn't had such a forbidding expression on his face that kept everyone at a minimum of two meters away. She waved back and proceeded to make her way to the backyard, where she at least wouldn't have to cover her ears.   
  
Botan stood towards the end of the yard, where there were less people. Looking up into the night sky, she watched the fireworks become more and more frequent as midnight drew closer. She was delighted by some of them, the colors so many and vivid she could do nothing but appreciate. Yet, despite the excitement in the air, she could feel the beginnings of disappointment seep in.   
  
Botan had hoped Koenma would come to the party. He had said he'd come before, when she said she wanted to see the fireworks of the ningens from below, not from above. It was a small matter, she knew, and she hadn't expected him to come, what with all his work and the sudden test, but she had admittedly hoped. They hadn't spent much time in Ningenkai together in a long while. New Year's seemed like such a perfect opportunity.   
  
But she was disappointed.   
  
Botan shook her head. She had no right to feel this way. She herself had said Koenma needed to sleep rather than come to the party with her. His test was far more important then a simple ningen tradition. What right had she over that? He had to study.   
  
The earlier incident came unbidden to her mind at the thought of him studying. She had avoided thinking about it the entire time she had flown, and while she talked with the gang, but now she couldn't help but remember his exhaustion, his refusal to stop, the result of his stubbornness: Koenma lying against her, not awkwardly, but naturally. Acutely, she could still feel the gentle rise and fall of his chest against hers. She recalled, vaguely, that he had smelled like sweet peppermint, if there was such a thing.   
  
The people in the garden were moving away, towards the house, leaving her alone in her reflections. It was traditional to reflect before the New Year, wasn't it? To reflect on the past to move forward into the future.   
  
Botan couldn't deny that she liked Koenma. She wouldn't have lasted so long as his ferry girl if she hadn't liked him. And a lot of the other ferry girls had crushes on him too. It was but natural to idly dream...   
  
But when he had said he wanted to tell her something, she wasn't just idly wishing then. She had actually wanted him to say that... that he loved her. That their friendship was starting to develop into something more. She never thought she'd want to hear that as intensely as she did then. As intensely as she did now.   
  
The countdown was starting. One minute. He still had time. He might remember.   
  
No, she wouldn't hope. She had survived Koenma for so long because she had strived to be his friend, and only his friend. She had never wanted to develop feelings for him because it would complicate everything. Botan wanted to remain her usual cheerful self, but she couldn't with feelings like these, feelings that couldn't be returned.   
  
Yukina, looking lovely in her new kimono, was calling her in for the final seconds of the countdown. Botan nodded, chanting loudly with the rest as she returned, absorbing their enthusiasm.   
  
She was getting worried about nothing. It was unlike her. She had only felt those emotions for a moment. Just a fleeting moment. She could still be herself. Nothing had changed at all. There was nothing to think about.   
  
Her glass was empty. She had thrown the contents onto the grass when she'd gone outside. Kurama handed her a new one for the toast.   
  
New Year in three...   
  
Two...   
  
One...   
  
They were jumping up and down, blowing horns and rattling cans. Everyone was cheering and Botan smiled with them, reveling in how they could get excited over such a simple event. On TV, there were breathtaking displays of fireworks as the nation celebrated. Outside, there were simpler but equally as beautiful lights filling the sky.   
  
It was past midnight and Koenma hadn't come.   
  
The party continued and Botan stayed to enjoy it.   
  
  
  
The evening was quiet, as if the New Year had yet to arrive. Most of the guests had already gone home. Botan hadn't. She didn't want to leave yet.   
  
It was so lovely in Ningenkai. She'd forgotten what it was like to just sit and watch. Most of the time, her ferry girl life caused her to rush to and fro collecting spirits. It had never left her much time to look at her surroundings.   
  
Botan brushed back a tendril of hair. She'd taken off her hat ages ago and let her hair fall free from its imprisonment. It cascaded around her shoulders and down her back, in a gleaming stream of blue. Tiredly, she drew up her knees and rested her head on them, allowing the curtain to fall about her face.   
  
How rare she wore her hair like this. It was somehow a comfort to her, as it waved in the breeze that wafted from behind.   
  
She perked slightly from her sitting position on the grass, a familiar smell beginning to wake her drowsy senses. The smell of peppermint...   
  
Suddenly, the most dazzling shower of lights exploded in the sky. Botan sat up fully, surprised at the lateness, but awed by the glittering colors that seemed to float in place when it should have fallen.   
  
"Pretty!" She gasped, clapping her hands together. It was a shame there was no one else around to share this shimmering sign of heaven with. Botan was sure that even Koenma would have loved it.   
  
"Do you like it?"   
  
There was a catch in her chest. So he had come.   
  
Gathering herself, Botan tilted herself backwards and looked up at him as he stood behind her. He was clothed in his normal uniform, the need to blend with humans nonexistent at that time of night. The bandana he normally wore around his forehead was dangling from the hand he held it in.   
  
"It's beautiful, but it's kind of too late, isn't it?" she remarked.   
  
Koenma rolled his eyes and took a seat beside her. "It wouldn't have been if you'd reminded me."   
  
The smell of peppermint was stronger now that he was closer. How long had he been there watching the sky? Watching her-   
  
Botan spoke before she could think of anything further. "But you have your test. I thought it would be more important."   
  
"I'd think this was too."   
  
Yusuke's words. Was it her, or had Yusuke rubbed off more on Koenma than anyone had thought?   
  
"Anyway," Koenma continued. "I needed a break. George helped me realize that when he poured another barrel of books on me. Which is why I decided he needed a break too."   
  
"You made him set off those fireworks?"   
  
"Do you think I'd risk injuring myself for that?"   
  
She laughed. "No."   
  
A pleasant silence descended. Botan found herself looking at the ground, where her barrette and his bandana lay side by side. She took the cloth and began to fold it properly while Koenma took up her pin.   
  
"Didn't I give this to you?" he asked after a moment.   
  
Botan nodded. Unexpectedly Koenma reached over to secure one curtain of hair with it, leaving the side of her face bare.   
  
Koenma grinned. "I have good taste."   
  
She was touched. Then she promptly plucked the pacifier from his mouth and set it down on top of his neatly folded bandana. "So do I."   
  
They quieted to watch the fireworks once more. It was still in the sky, slowly, ever so slowly, floating downwards in an ethereal dance of light. Of all the fireworks she'd seen that night, Botan thought that that was the best.   
  
It was a new year. New years meant new beginnings, didn't they?   
  
"Koenma," Botan murmured without thinking.   
  
The prince seemed startled. "Yes?"   
  
"I'm glad you came."   
  
He relaxed and looked back at the sky. "So am I."   
  


The End. 

  
  
  
  
_Author's Notes_:  
So my only intention was to write the last part as a ficlet, the rest turning out to be absolutely unrelated. So what? Interpret the ending as you will about what happens to their friendship. Keep in mind that I am a Koenma/Botan fan, and that I wrote this entire thing in one looooong sitting so I might've written this story shabbily. Ah well. At least I finished it, ne? I am amazed at myself. Comments? There've got to be comments. I know there are things weird with this fic that must be revised. Point them out for me, please!   
  
Started: 11:28pm, December 30, 2002   
Finished: 4:33am, December 31, 2002 


End file.
